It has to be the number one challenge for people that gets in the way of creating a life they truly desire, and why they often request support with personal coaching.
While it’s true that trying to directly change self limiting beliefs can work,
I’m going to suggest a slightly different approach to it.
If we come from an approach of only “changing beliefs” – that generally means to directly change the content of the beliefs themselves.
While the content of the belief is important, it’s not really the most important part.
How Do You Hold Your Beliefs?
What’s more important is how we “hold” our self limiting beliefs, how we interact with them.
Do we adhere to them very tightly, or hold them loosely making room for other possibilities?
Are there times it’s appropriate to hold our beliefs tightly vs lightly?
Changing limiting beliefs starts with awareness. We first have to be aware of the belief or set of beliefs, and we have to explore the depths of the mind, usually arriving at core beliefs, which is where the deepest change can occur.
Once you’re aware of what your problem beliefs are, you take a look to whether or not you need to change your beliefs directly, or change your relationship with them.
Often it’s a combination of both. But I find it’s important to start with the relationship to the belief first.
Here’s an example:
If I discover that a client has a belief like “I don’t deserve to make money or have any financial success”, we need to take a look at how this belief shows up in someone.
We need to look at the emotions that arise, and the body disposition (posture, sensations, etc.) of someone with this belief.
We also will explore possibilities of different beliefs, at the same time using awareness to see how this filters the world of money & success for someone.
Not only that, but this belief is probably more on the surface of some other core beliefs, for example, “having money means I’m a bad person, because money is dirty and that will make me a dirty, bad person.”
Also, what meaning or value does money hold for an individual?
So an important thing to notice is HOW someone holds the belief, not simply trying to pound it into the brain with written or verbal affirmations over and over in attempts to overcome limiting beliefs.
Not easy to describe in words, as its an experiential process of learning.
If I was working with someone as a client, we’d examine the current beliefs you have, how you hold them (embody them), and what kind of world they are creating for you.
Again, we’d do this experientially so you really get a deeper sense of how they affect your life.
We’d then explore new possibilities of beliefs together, experience those, creating a new narrative from which you can choose to live.
Do You Need to Put a New Belief System in Place?
It’s not about enforcing a new belief system and say “that’s it I’ve got it now”, it’s really about curiosity and creativity in creating a new life story for yourself.
It’s about actually EXPERIENCING what the new belief feels like in their entire person, which will hopefully bring a new sense of self-confidence in that arena of life, not just some words on a page that say.
Overcoming limiting beliefs is a process of self-inquiry, awareness, exploration, and new possibilities for thinking and acting.
If it were as easy as just telling yourself a new belief, and changing in an instant, everyone would be doing it and overcoming fear would be a piece of cake.
I believe the real power lies in changing core beliefs some of the more common ones being “I’m not good enough” or “I don’t deserve to be loved” just as some examples.
If you are interested in changing or overcoming limiting beliefs; if you feel off track in life and want to get back on course, then check out the coaching page.