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"Coaching with David has brought my vision into complete clarity. The breakthroughs that we made have increased my productivity and profitability tenfold. Just knowing what my ideal lifestyle and picture of success looks like has brought a laser-sharp focus and action steps to growing my businesses to the next level.”
-Nathaniel Bruno, Lifestyle Entrepreneur

Speak It to the WORLD

speakingGuten Tag –

(That’s good morning in German….I’m so freakin’ global.)

We are starting off today with question-coffee to wake you up:

Do ever feel like there’s something inside you, a message,
or a passion that you just want to speak to the world?

To let everyone know about it, but you might be afraid to say it
because of what everyone will think?

Or what they might say or do in opposition to your
passionate, heartfelt message?

Any time there’s a message out to the world someone speaks
with passion and heart, even if it is caring and gentle
there will always be those that disagree.

And that’s OK!

That is how I have been feeling about a message
I feel really strongly about.

It’s a message I’ve felt strongly about since I’ve had a series
of personal awakenings since last July.

A Passionate Conversation

The other night, I was having a friendly conversation on
the phone with another coach (who’s also a former therapist)
about what’s happening in our lives and businesses.

His name is Dr. Aziz. He helps shy guys become more confident to
have better dating lives, better careers and more happiness.

He’s one of the most genuine guys I’ve met in a long time,
and I just love his energy.

Aziz asked me what I was up to and I told him I was looking
for speaking opportunities.

He asked me “so…what are you going to speak on, David?”

Often when people ask me what my topic is, I try to craft it to
what they think will sound good.

Many times, I feel my energy drop, especially when I think
too hard about it, try to have a “niche” or be all business-like.

(If I hear the word “niche” again, I think I may ditch my dinner!)

I feel a knot in my chest because I try to figure out what I think
would sound good to them.

When can really feel inauthentic and something that
I think they would like to hear.

Ever try to please people like that?

Speaking My Truth

I paused for a moment. I felt into my body.

What I spoke next to Aziz though…well….something just happened
effortlessly without even trying.

This is what flew out of my mouth to Aziz from inspiration with
hardly a thought, it was my truth in the moment…

“I want to talk about how living and working from a place of well-being
can lead to a totally different kind of success and prosperity.

Instead of striving for the goal to be happy, and getting it, only to have a
fleeting feeling of satisfaction, it’s possible to live well and let success
and prosperity flow from there.

It sounds like a paradox, but it’s more than possible.

And I think the world needs more of that.

It’s like one way is always pushing and pushing. And that becomes our
model of success. Always trying to catch up, but never getting there.

Wearing ourselves out until there’s nothing left.

Coming from this state of mind, state of being, there is all this extra
mental noise there that affects our lives, our health, our relationships,
and our long-term success and happiness.

It affects everything. It’s not sustainable.

But when we come from well-being FIRST, it’s like having a blank
canvas, an untapped reservoir to where we can create in the world
without constantly pushing ourselves and WE ARE PULLED into
our highest vision, our purpose and our prosperity.

We still play the game full-out to win, but win or lose
we are still well in the end.”

I felt free and inspired as that came through me.

No One Else Cares Like You

It’s not necessarily a new message, it’s been said 1000
times before in various ways.

When it comes through my own inspiration, it feels like new…

…and people feel THAT.

I finally realized this, because I’ve been on the opposite end.

I know some will absolutely love this message.

Others won’t care at all and say “sounds like Zen” or something like that.

They’re probably right. :)

Yet others will totally disagree and say “That’s total BS.
If I’m happy first, what am I supposed to do sit on the
couch and do nothing? How will I ever be successful?”

Unfortunately that’s a total scarcity-based mindset, stuck the
striving to be happy and successful type of thinking.

I know that because I’ve learned the hard way. Ask me how I know. :)

But in the end who cares if people agree or disagree
but my own little egoic mind, really?

In the end they don’t really care either, they’ll forget they
disagreed and remove themselves from my world anyways,
just like I would if something doesn’t resonate with me.

Life goes on.

Believe me, I love achieving things in the world, really I am! I’m all for it.

But I no longer will do it at the cost of my life or the lives of my clients.

Success and prosperity has to be redefined.

Let us come from kree-ayh-shun (creation in a Jamaican accent), mon!

What Do You Want to Speak to the World?

So I’m curious….

Do you have something you want to speak to the world,
that you feel you’ve been holding back on?

***Shoot me a note if you have something to speak to the world,
I’d love to hear from you.***

Here’s what I’m speaking to the world, right now.

I’m literally looking for speaking engagements.

It could be live in front of a group – big or small.

It could be local, national or international.

It could be online, via a webinar, tele-call style
or video chat to the world.

The format doesn’t really matter.

I’m open.

And I’m actually pretty damn good at it, a “natural” I’ve been told.

(All that time being a front-man in a band was worth something,
’cause it sure didn’t pay much!)

***Also, If you know of someone or somewhere in a cool and
open-minded event, group or organization looking for an
inspirational speaker to transform their audience,
let me know that, too.***

I’d be speaking on this very topic of well-being and success
going together, leading to a true prosperity. I’ll probably
talk about doing what you love, and living with purpose, too.

So let it be spoken, so let it be done!

Let yours be done, too.

Whatever truth is inside of you speak it both to
inside yourself and to the world.

Your voice matters, and it needs to be heard.

-David

A Revolution in Prosperity

This is for those of you out there who are entrepreneurs, or if you are aspiring to become one.

I’ve got a special invitation for those of you who really want to take your business success to the next level, while enjoying the journey all-the-more.

Are You the Entrepreneurial-Type  Wanting More Prosperity?prosperity

Revolutions disrupt the status-quo.

They challenge outdated ideas and create a new and exciting future.

They shift things dramatically, so things are never the same.

Revolutions can be personal, too.

So what do you want for the future of your business, or your business-to-be?

What level of impact and prosperity do you want to take it to on your own terms?

What about feeling like business and life aren’t separated, and even having business be a much more spiritual endeavor, and not just all about the money, the lifestyle and the freedom?

(Though money certainly is the lifeblood of any business, that’s just a fact. More money is a good thing and a huge part of having a successful business.)

Maybe it’s time for the current status-quo to end, and your own personal revolution to begin, no matter where you are in your business or transition.

We all know that building a business into success can be tough as it is.

We can feel alone, isolated and separated. Like everyone around us is successful but not us, or that we’ll always have to spin on the hamster wheel of our business just to keep up even when we are successful on the outside.

But true success and prosperity is also an INNER GAME.

The great news is, that we can do it our own way and there are ways to make it a whole lot easier, which is just how it should be.

I know for me, I started my own businesses to be able to do things my way and have freedom and flexibility while making a difference in the world, doing what I loved.

That’s why so many of us all start our own businesses anyways, right?

It also can be tough, and I’m a firm believer in making it as easy as possible to be successful in business, to have that maverick freedom and flexibility pretty much every entrepreneur I’ve ever met craves.

I’ve struggled with the best of them, and even in the last few months I’ve had more success than ever before and more momentum.

So this year I’m ready to take my business to the next level of success, ease and prosperity like never before.

I hope you are, too.

OK – here’s the lowdown…

Create a New Revolution in Your Business

The Revolution Intensive for Entrepreneurs is happening at the end of February, for which I’m one of the featured speakers. (Hell yeah!)

This event is led by my good friend and powerhouse Success Coach Krisztina Kohlhaas.

Krisztina is one of the best I’ve ever seen at helping entrepreneurs to rapidly increase their bottom line, by helping them to quickly transform their mindset and strategies to really successful ones. She has put her heart and soul into developing this event, and really wants prosperous-minded people there.

She’s helped many entrepreneurs, especially those with service-based business, get to higher levels of success than ever before.

If you can’t tell, I think Krisztina is incredible and the bomb.

Two other amazing entrepreneurs will be speaking – Monica Day owner of Ducky Life Tea, and Robert Kandell who founded and built the very successful company called OneTaste, where he increased his company’s revnue ten-fold in just three years. OneTaste was recently ranked 893 in Inc’s top 5000 companies.

I’m really, really excited for it.

Especially because I’m one of the featured speakers – can I get a hell yeah?

I’ll be speaking on exactly how to make success easier and let prosperity flow, all by leveraging your own state-of-mind in your business and life.

Not to mention the network with other rock star entrepreneurs throughout the 3 days together. These things are always so much fun, usually I’m only in the audience, but this time I’ll both be a participant and speaking to the group.

Who The Revolution Intensive Is For

This event is for the out-of-the-box thinkers, leaders and most definitely entrepreneurs, who want to create and up-level their businesses and be successful on their own terms, building it their own way and having fun while doing it.

Which really is the only way it should be done!

It will be a group of fun and prosperous-minded business owners (or aspiring entrepreneurs) who want to serve powerfully in the world with their ideas and gifts, while growing their business to more and more financially successful levels.

Including having our every day experience be part of a lifestyle they love, and not be working so damn hard all the time, including taking off that precious time to recharge and refuel. It’s essential for sustaining success in your business.

Because after all business is just one part of life as a whole, if you haven’t noticed yet. I get so wrapped up in growing my business, that I forget that too.

Business Can Be and Should Be a Ton O’ Fun

Let’s not forget that doing business and being successful should be fun. Failing should be fun too, and we’ll be sharing those moments as well. And while we all work hard, it doesn’t mean it has to feel hard, and always feel like an uphill battle.

It can feel impactful and you can be busy-as-hell in the best way possible, while being in the flow of your creativity and innovation as an entrepreneurial leader.

Maybe that rings a bell for you?

Krisztina told me she carefully thought about setting up the right environment for massive transformation for everyone, and that’s why there are only 25 seats available in the room.

As of now 10 spots are accounted for, which is nearly half of them.

So if what I’m saying here resonates with you as an entrepreneur or entrepreneur-to-be, read more about the Revolution Intensive, Krisztina and the other featured speakers here:

http://revolutionintensive.com/

You can also reply to me here if you have any questions or would like to have a conversation about if the event would be a fit for you and what you’d want to get out of coming.

Pour Conclure

If you think the Revolution Intensive would be a fit for you, and you really want to up level your business and life to a more successful and prosperous level than ever before, I’d love to speak with you.

Why It’s Good to Let Go of Control

letgoWe want to control it all.

Our health.

Our money.

Our relationships.

Our…

So, what’s the truth?

The truth is we have some measure of control, on some level, but never are really in control.

We just aren’t in control, of that many things, if you really take a look.

We aren’t in control of…

…The earth going ’round the sun.

…The blood flowing through our veins, it does that on its own.

…How many thoughts our minds spit out every minute.

(Insert area of life you might want so badly to be perfect, so you can feel finally OK about life.)

The Need to Control, Gets in the Way of It

But we go around life, as if we need to control things.

As if those things were so different out there to control than our cells reproducing, or our stomach digesting food.

What if they weren’t?

Wouldn’t that be easier?

What if the need to control, was getting in the way of control?

“David!” you say.

“That doesn’t make any sense, how could needing control, pining for it, get in the way of it?”

Take a look.

How do things turn out when you are constantly trying to be in control?

My guess is pretty damn miserable. It’s an ego game, and it sucks.

Life

My Old Friend Alan

My friend Alan Watts says it best. If you have never heard him speak before, you won’t forget him now.

At the beginning, he says these amazing words:

“In giving away control, you’ve got it. You’ve got the kind of control you wanted.

You had a loving relationship with the world, but you didn’t have to make up your mind on what it should do.

You let it decide.”

(Listen below it’s 3 minutes well spent.)

Let go of control.

Watch miracles happen.

They already are.

Happening.

Out of your control.

Love,
David

Letting Go of the Separation: Spiritual Is Practical

spiritual is practical

So I had a huge epiphany on a three-week break I took over the holiday season.

Actually I had several epiphanies, but the biggest one was about the seeming separation between the “sacred and the secular.”

Said another way, the made-up separation between the spiritual and the everyday practical.

Part of this very insight was how this applies deeply to business and work, as much as it applies to life.

Letting Go into the Flow

My business has been better than ever, since I let go of trying to be successful and scramble around taking massive action, or applying the right strategies that “they” said will work for anyone. Instead of using the right strategy or magical path to success, I do what occurs to me.

Granted people have different types of businesses and work procedures to follow, but more often than not we are taught to follow what’s outside us to know what’s right, instead following the knowing that is inside of us.

I think that’s a big mistake, and it’s why I tell my clients that clarity trumps strategy. Even if the strategy laid out before us has all these fancy steps, we are taught to trust that more than just knowing the one next single step that feels right on.

It may be a strategy I learned. It may be a variation of that. It may be something totally different.

Because it’s not the strategies that are the problem, it’s the alignment for the individual or company, talking from a business sense.

This requires a real relaxation of the mind to do this, and with a busy mind it’s hard to do.

I’ve only recently started talking about this with my family, friends and clients more openly than ever, because I wanted to make sure it was REAL.

But this is about more than just business. The letting go I’m talking about wasn’t necessarily of what I’d call a spiritual nature, but it was towards letting whatever was present take over, let well-being come out naturally, and let results flow from there.

So this past year with the help of many people, I learned to let go like never before.

I tapped in, and the path to well-being and success started lining and lighting up with what felt like any effort. With way less effort than I was putting in.

No, it hasn’t all been sugar and honey, I still have fear and scarcity thoughts that rule my mind at times.

But I really saw how it was that over-effort that was getting in the way more than anything.

The Everyday Spiritual

As part of my three-week hiatus, I went on a four-day personal retreat at the Shambhala Center at Red Feather lakes here in the wintry mountains of Colorado. It was absolutely stunning. Shambhala is of the Buddhist tradition, but all are welcome. I am not a Buddhist or religious in any way, but I seem to have become quite the spiritually-minded man now.

During my retreat, I read a book that really impacted me called Smile at Fear by Chogyam Trungpa. Who was in my opinion an amazing (and controversial) spiritual teacher.

In reading and contemplating his work, I saw the false separation we often make between the spiritual and the practical and how this can cause a lot of mental and emotional pain.

Call it spiritual pain if you will.

It certainly has caused me a lot of pain when my mind separates the spiritual as something to be done alone in meditation/contemplation only, something out of this world or away from “real life.” We wonder why we go around feeling disconnected from our lives, without purpose always seeking solace in the next vice or material thing to try to find happiness.

Only to find that feeling of gratification is fleeting once we get what we want, or live in great disappointment when we don’t get what we want.

It is all an ego/mind game in the end, and I am happy to now know that this is completely solvable.

When we look deeper towards the deeper nature of reality, towards what’s true (which I term as what spirituality is really all about), we can transcend this mind game.

I am no stranger to this game and I’ve got a conditioned mind just like you – just like we all do.

Prosperity from the Inside-Out Is a Spiritual Game

By removing the separation between spiritual and the practical everyday, it doesn’t mean we have to be poor.
We absolutely can be prosperous

By intending to see what’s true and merging the sacred and the secular, it doesn’t mean we have to shut off our intellect. It means we include it recognizing it as a part of the whole, but just one aspect of everything.

We can use our heads and our hearts in unison, to live a life of great joy and purpose.

It doesn’t mean we shut away from our problems, but instead get even more real with them, perhaps looking at how our thinking alone is making these problems a much bigger deal than they truly are. Yes, even extreme problems can be shifted with thinking, which many of us have experienced whether it be serious loss of finances, health or loved ones. All of which I have my own experience with.

It wasn’t until I started getting right with how this all works, how our small minds can mislead us, that things really started shifting for me this past year.

Being “everyday spiritual” means we also have even more compassion for ourselves and others in dealing with family, at work and everywhere we go, even for the “asshole” who cuts us off in traffic, or the cranky person in line at the grocery store, who just needs a little love sent their way, because they are suffering.

So what if all we did was sacred and spiritual? I know for some reading this, it might seem radical or weird or confusing.

But bringing a spiritual sense into the everyday is inherently practical, or so I’ve found.

More than that, it’s very powerful and can even bring tremendous results that we have never imagined.

Hell, I have a degree in Molecular Biology and have a fair amount of scientific background from it. If this stuff wasn’t working, I wouldn’t be doing it.

Of course, trying to be more spiritual in order to get more success isn’t how it works. That is just inauthentic and goes against how the system works.

For others what I’m saying here, might resonate deeply.

Spiritual is practical, and if it isn’t, then it’s not a game worth playing. I wouldn’t be playing it this way if it wasn’t.

It’s Up to You

If what I’m talking about interests you, then by all means go for it. Go all out with it. I think the world needs more of it, as long as it’s in a loving way that’s inclusive.

Spirituality is awesome when we come from that place.

And whatever your current spiritual view or practice is…how can you eliminate the separation between it and your everyday, practical, “real-world” life?

Love,

David

Just Relax

I think most of us could benefit from slowing down a little, or a lot. Especially on the inside, or in our thought processes.

In my book, clarity and calm trump motivation and inspiration any day.

In fact, I’m going to say clarity and calm are more important than ever, with the world continuing to get more and more complicated, more and more choices and options for things to eat, technology and gadgets to use, or ways to be successful.

How do you know which way to go, with all these overwhelming things being thrown at you?

Lessons in Taiji, Become Lessons in Life and Business

Taiji (Tai Chi) has been and continues to be such a great trainer for my life and business.

It’s one of many things I’ve studied, and one I’ve been studying every week for the last 3 years, driving 70 miles each way, once a week, to go to an advanced class in it.

relax-blocks

When my teacher is advancing on me in what we call “push hands” which is the Taiji version of sparring, when he is challenging me and basically kicking my ass, he always used to say these words most every time we faced off:

“Why so tense? Don’t tense.”

 “Relax… breathe.”

“Relax…”

Though to be able to execute Taiji well, someone needs both a high level of relaxation, structural precision AND martial skill, I must have learned something.

Because I can’t remember the last time he told me to relax.

I don’t really get stuck there anymore. I get stuck other places that are more structural, but when you can’t fundamentally relax in Taiji, it doesn’t matter how much structural or martial skill you practice.

You will cut off your chance to do Taiji and become “internal” – which means to have a sort of martial power that most arts don’t have.

Why am I telling you this? Because this relates directly to life as well.

When we are stressed out and tense throughout lives whether it be at work or at home, we cut off our ability to respond at higher levels, and to get better results.

So in 3 years of training I have learned the importance of relaxation in Taiji, in life and in business.

The Principle of Relaxation

Relax is one of my mottos for 2015.

It is why things starting clicking for me in a new way in the last 6 months, especially in my business.

I see relaxation tying directly to my results everywhere. I just can’t seem to see any other way now.

Yeah, I still get tense at times for sure. But it’s not the status quo like it used to be.

My default is now set to “relax” when it used to be to think hard or jump into action right away. Which bled off a lot of energy, and was way more inefficient.

It is a wonderful thing to be living and working this way, and it’s not because I’m special or anything like that.

It’s knowing how to leverage the human mind system.

Anywhere you can see where you might want to relax more? To see more possibilities, to turn a seemingly bad situation which only seems to have one path, one or two responses, into a situation where you can benefit from it i.e. turning lemons into lemonade, just by relaxing?

When we relax in our minds, and let them settle, we can access to a natural clarity that is built in that is like a GPS system giving up the next direction. And the next one after that, with far less effort than if we analyzed the situation constantly, trying to determine the best path, and avoid all risks.

What I’ve found is that there needs to be a fundamental mind shift in order to access this relaxation I’m talking about here. Once that accesses the relaxation already built into the mind, it is not something to be developed as much as something to be accessed.

It is more of a process of subtraction than addition to have a “relaxation shift” that spans from within our entire perception.

Like Driving a Car

Learning to be relaxed underneath is like understanding how to drive a car.

When we first learn to drive, there is a lot to pay attention to. As we keep our focus not only on learning how the car works, but also how the driving system in general works, the rules of the road, along with driving itself, the easier it is.

Notice how the car and the driving system are already built when we step in to learn, and all you have to do is to learn how to use it.

The same with our human minds. The more we understand how the mind works, the more control we have over our experience by leveraging the inherently powerful system that the human mind already is. The more we look at what’s true about how the mind works for everybody, the easier it is.

Might you see how you tense up in some recurring life or work situation, that might be affecting not only your quality of life experience, but actually getting in the way of better results?

Maybe you have been like me and needed to relax everywhere, which is the simplest route to go. Maybe it’s just an area or two for you.

Though not necessarily the easiest path, to focus on relaxing everywhere, once it becomes the norm, it is easy.

Therefore relaxing everywhere IS the more direct and easy way, since it is the more clear cut path. It is a “cure-all” so to speak, instead of only focusing on relaxing in specific areas.

Just relax and you might be surprised as to what happens.

With Love,

David

P.S. In truth, Taiji has not been the only thing that has helped me relax so much more. The 3 Principles have been integral to my upgrade. It is also the foundation for how I coach and facilitate, when I help entrepreneurs and high-performing career professionals relax more to get better results in better playing the game of life and business.

For Richer or For Poorer: Being Happy and Broke VS Rich and Miserable

bigstock-Comedy-TragedyThis is a big question that comes up for those trying to balance happiness and financial or material success. It’s a big one for anyone starting a business or struggling to make it.

It’s also big for anyone who wants to be successful in their career too that may not be a business owner, but doesn’t know if they should work harder, and sacrifice their happiness.

So it begs this question:

Is it possible to be both happy and successful – and have these co-exist? Or is this balance not possible in the long run, and at best is a serious juggling acting of happiness vs. material success?

One group has a mindset that values material/financial success and has difficulty slowing down, thinking that if they do slow down and actually enjoy life, success will fall away – all will be lost. We can call this mindset the one of “success materialism.”

The other is a group that wants to be happy first and/or help the world, but think that money gets in the way, is fundamentally bad, is dirty or is the main source of problems in the world. Let’s call that mindset the “spiritual materialism” way of thinking.

It’s like a thermostat can be set in either case and in both directions for happiness and material/financial success. There’s a polarization that can happen and these two possibilities can seem like the only two available, like two sides of the same coin.

So is it possible to be both happy and successful – and have these co-exist?

In this podcast, we discuss our take and our personal experience on this success materialism vs. spiritual materialism issue and what to do about it in hopes of resolving this issue.

Downloadable Version (Right click and Save-As)

Listening Time: 13 minutes

I was really excited about this podcast, and I (Hamilton) spoke just a little bit faster than I would have liked (and faster than I normally do, I sweat) but you can’t win ‘em all. Secondo is cool as a coaching cucumber and smooth like a big daddy.

Enjoy the podcast and leave comments below.

Con Amor Grande!

-Coaches David (Hamilton and Secondo)

Finding Motivation When You Have None

procrastination zoneThis situation happened in a client session not long ago:

“David – I have all this stuff I want to get done. I need to get motivated to do it!”

Sounds like a good thing to do, right?

Find some motivation to get all those important work tasks done.

After listening to my lovely client (she really is that awesome) talking about wanting to get motivated, it occurred to me just what might be going on.

It seemed to me that everything was right there in the words she said.

Still, it was a hunch and we had to coach around it to get to the bottom of it.

I said “You know Michelle (not her real name), I hear that you say you need to get motivated first, before doing what you want to do.”

To which she replied:

“Yes, I just am not feeling motivated right now and need to get motivated, so I can get all this stuff done.”

Can you see what’s going on here?

I’ll bet you can, smarty pants.

So what she was doing (and we all do it) was defining her world via what I’ll call “declarative thought.”

Michelle is literally declaring her world, through this thought as if it were true, when it is just a thought, nothing more.

She speaks it into the world, and so it is.

More importantly, she holds it in her mind as the way it should be, so she aligns her world with it.

She bases her strategy to get things done on this thought and it solidifies what is possible and what is not.

She stays stuck, as it were.

So I said:

“Well, you know I have some news for you Michelle. The best way to actually get things done is…”

Wait for it…WAIT FOR IT…

“It’s simply…

To do them.”

At that point she busted out laughing, saying “that’s brilliant!”

Yes, this is why I get paid the big bucks, people.

“It seems to me that you are putting this ahead that you need to get motivated in front of doing things. As if it is absolutely true.

Who ever said you had to get motivated to get things done? Where did you hear that?

Actually, it isn’t true at all. I’m not debating whether it is true or not, it might be…but it might not be. One thing is for certain, is that it certainly IS NOT TRUE that you have to get motivated before you do something. Unless you make it that way.”

I gave her several examples and she agreed.

Score, coach!

“So how’s that working for you in terms of getting things done, trying to drum up the motivation that isn’t there, and doesn’t need to be there Michelle?”

“Well, not very well. I sit here and stress about it and don’t do them. But now I realize I don’t need to be motivated to do these things.”

All I want to show you here is how often we think we need motivation, the right strategy, more information, the right mindset, (insert any element here) to get shit done.

I have nothing against strategies, or if you feel motivated and ride that feeling while getting things done.

But you certainly don’t need to be motivated to do things.

This story makes the point of how powerful the mind can be and how simple it is to get in our own way with such thoughts.

With just a sentence or two.

With just a thought, we think to be real, but it’s not.

None of them are true.

They might be true, but one thing is for certain:

They certainly aren’t true.

These thoughts are as true as we make them out to be.

She proceeded to get things done effortlessly in her business and with her team, and made millions of dollars in just one day.

(Kidding on that last part, though she’s doing well and bought another business just a couple of months ago. I put that on her brilliance more than anything. She’s well on her way to making millions and has an amazing vision for her business, team and impact she wants to make.)

That’s what some of us coaches do, help high-performers like my client draw out their brilliance via their state of mind.

State of mind is highly overlooked on its effects on being highly productive, effective and making more money. Its what top performers on all areas of mastery point to, when they’ve been at their best – whether sports, arts or business.

High-performers rarely need more information/ideas. What they really need is the clarity and confidence to know what to do. That comes from them.

Especially when they perform at levels that amaze others, but to the high-performer like my client Michelle, it feels effortless.

I’m trully obsessed with the way of effortless success, and helping high-performing business owners, professionals and leaders.

You can read about coaching here, if so inclined:

http://everlution.co/coaching

-David

Success the Anti-Difficult Way

falling successDoes having things easy seem like a pipe dream?

Do you ever get tired of working hard, and want an easier way to have more success in business or at work?

Ever feel burnt out and feel like you have to force or push just to keep up with things?

The answer to all these questions used to be a hell yes for me.

Until I couldn’t do the hard way anymore, even though the words challenge, hard and success all used to go together for me.

It’s a given that lots of effort and persistence are required in any field we want to master. Malcolm Gladwell has said it takes 10,000 hours to get really good at anything.

But it doesn’t have to feel hard, and that’s what we are talking about today.

The fact the when we get in the flow, succeeding can be easy.

I’m calling it the Anti-Difficult Way (which I totally made up) because I wanted to see if that caught your attention.

And because it felt creative and effortless.

Anti-difficult is what we are all about here.

Watch Out for the Pusherman

For years I listened to what I call my “internal pusherman” – the high achiever that takes action for action’s sake, to the detriment of my health AND my results in my career.

I had to let that all go, because I got so sick and tired of it. I found an easier way.

A way that is far more enjoyable AND brings great results as well.

We have a very special treat here today. It’s the first podcast ever on Everlution, with an awesome guest! This is the first podcast in what I am calling the Easy Success Podcast Series.

(Queue virtual champagne bottles. Virtual champagne is great to drink any time of the day, because you can’t get drunk, it’s really awesome.)

Anti-Difficult Success Podcast

My good friend David Secondo is a holistic business coach who helps healers of all types get more clients and grow their businesses.

We recorded this podcast in a park after playing a tennis match and we noticed how much state of mind affected our performance. So we decided to record a podcast together on how this impacts doing business/work and life.

In this short podcast, we discuss:

  • Why it’s good to go the path of least resistance and following the flow
  • Why teaming up with others is a great way to make things easier
  • Why doing what you love is key as well as having fun to avoid procrastination
  • How state of mind impacts our performance and turns difficult into easy
  • Why following the strategies and tactics (and even mindsets) of others, even though they are successful may not work well for you
  • How ancient philosophies can hold the keys to effortless success
  • Why you should slow down and go easy and not push yourself

Listen to it now – either streaming below, or download it.

Downloadable Version (Right click and Save-As)

Listening Time: 12 minutes

I hope you enjoy it on the path to easier success for yourself.

(Excuse the chirping birds in the park, they decided to join us in the background.)

With Love,

David

The Confidence Trap (Why I Stopped Trying to Build Self-Confidence)

confidence levelsI have spent a great deal of my life trying to be more confident.

I bought plenty of self-help books, attended many a seminar and even worked with coaches of all types to change beliefs, build my confidence, boost my self-esteem, improve my self-image, etc.

I used to be so insecure inside that I would be rude and nasty to people when I was in my twenties to hide my lack of confidence, especially in social situations. I just didn’t know what to do and because I lived in fear, I either lashed out to protect myself or closed up and was aloof.

I didn’t realize this about myself until recently, because I was afraid to admit how much time and money I had spent on building up my confidence. I was still covering over my desire to be self-confident and feeling like a loser for it.

I realized that for the last 15 years or so, I have been working towards an exalted and ever-living state of confidence where I would never feel fear or insecure again. Though that state doesn’t seem to exist for a human being, having a life experience rooted in self-confidence more than self-doubt, I have found to be possible, and what I have been experiencing now.

But I never anticipated the path to get here would have been what it was.

Through the years, I learned skills on how to appear more confident and fake it, to where many wouldn’t know that I lacked confidence, except for the fact that underneath felt extremely unconfident.

Because I wanted to be LIKE THEM.

When They Have Confidence, But You Don’t

I wanted confidence just like all those famous actors have, or sports stars, or top businessmen appeared to have. Or people around me that I thought were better than me, had achieved more, had more money, more fame, more women, more XYZ.

I mean don’t they have it all?

They are ALWAYS confident and have figured out the secrets, haven’t they?

That is what I believed and my projection onto those celebrities, stars and top one-percenters in their given field warped my view.

What is actually true is that the idea is just mental projection of my (socially conditioned) own, that’s it. None of it is real.

(Eureka!)

I also realized that the more I work on being confident, the more I stay stuck in always striving to be confident. Even if I am more confident, it is like I am an infinitely small step away from it, just by seeking it.

Never there, always seeking VS. “I am already there,” therefore the seeking is over.

It may sound very zen and paradoxical, and it is to the cognitive mind (at least to mine).

It never made sense in my deeper experience of life. This is NOT something I found I could change by practice some positive affirmations or doing deep-belief change work.

It was my serendipitous tripping over the Inside-Out Understanding, that helped to create a major shift in my level of consciousness, that had nothing to do with removing limiting beliefs or negative thoughts, or building confidence through all the way I had tried before. I had what I call a “crossover experience” which started at the beginning of the summer, with what the true nature of self-confidence really is.

How I Found Out that Confidence Doesn’t Need to Be Developed

I am one of those people who has traditionally been very hard on himself, like many of us are. Maybe you have been hard on yourself like I have been, too.

I get it, we were raised by people that were hard on themselves, that is how we learn it.

It’s not that I have been completely unconfident in every area of my life.

Where I have been easily confident is in areas like playing music/guitar, public speaking, and transformational coaching. These things I am fairly confident about, but that is based on my belief of my practice and skills development in these areas.

The distinction I am making here is the difference between being confident in our abilities (competence) and being confident in ourselves no matter what the area of life or skillset. Not assigning value to our true-self worth based on skills, what we’ve acquired or not, even who we think we are by role, age, stage or any other descriptor we can think of.

I am talking about fundamental, true inner-confidence.

We will never access true self-confidence when we believe confidence comes from what we do, how we act or what we have.

As someone who is not fundamentally confident in themselves might say or rationalize something like:

“I don’t know how to sell, I just don’t feel confident these days.”

We assign our inner confident to lack of competence in a skill.

“People keep telling me I’m good at writing but that’s all I know.”

We reason constantly that because we don’t know how to do other things, even though we are good at one thing, that we aren’t worth much.

Or even because we have something like…

“I’m feeling so good/confident/worthy because I have a great relationship, if I didn’t have Steve/Sara I don’t know what I’d do. I’m glad this relationship is there for me.”

And even…

“I’m feeling so confident today because my life is great. Everything is in order and that’s why I’m brimming with confidence!”

(By the way:

Confidence = Self-Esteem = Self-Worth.

They are all really the same thing.)

What you have confidence in here is your skills, something you have or something external to you, and not from inside yourself.

This is a backwards model, that will leave you starving for confidence forever. This is a simple, but a very important distinction to make.

So what is the path of least resistance to true self-confidence that only comes from within and isn’t externally based?

The Key: Self-Confidence Is Innate and Natural

Whenever we are seeking to build our confidence, we can’t be confident. We never can be – it is simple logic on one level, but it goes deeper than that.

I like to call this “profound logic” because it makes sense to both the intellectual mind, but also impacts the soul when we feel it on a deeper level that transcends everyday emotions.

When we are truly confident we are not thinking, ever, about confidence itself. We just are doing what we are doing, in the flow of the moment.

People may say “wow he’s really confident I like him.” But more often than not you ask someone who is confident what they are thinking, they are never thinking “I’m so confident.”

What I saw what actually the thought itself “I’m not confident enough and need to build confidence” generates that lack of confidence, purely and simply. It does not come from having a lack of confidence that isn’t real.

Only the thought form “I’m not confident enough” generates that experience. It may not be those exact words and something it is just a feeling underneath, but that feeling is fundamentally a thought-generated experience.

It isn’t real.

It may seem stupidly-simple, but this was something I missed for years AND YEARS.

Even until a few months ago.

It was a profound awakening to see this.

My mind still goes into these bouts of un-confident thinking. But I now know without a doubt it is just thinking that has nothing to do with self-confidence, which is quite simply a lack of this kind of thinking.

Accessing true, innate self-confidence is an UN-THINKING.

No one who is confident sits there and thinks, “Damn I’m confident, if I keep thinking I’m confident then I’ll be even more confident!”

It just doesn’t work that way. The person we may label confident (or when others may label us as confident) is just doing what they are doing, being who they are being. They probably have little or no awareness of how confident they are or not.

This natural self-confidence is the kind of confidence that gets shaken when a top tennis player who has the top skills in the world, is mentally down in a match because they are caught in their thoughts, and looking at the circumstances of what’s happening in the game to determine their confidence and performance.

That is externally dependent confidence, and it is not true confidence.

Resolving the Confidence Struggle

The top areas I have struggled with my confidence are women I’m very attracted to (especially physically – though admittedly many men seem to struggle with this one), being able to make money on my own (not via a job and in my own business through sales) and lead-singing.

Again, I was assigning my self-worth to how competent I was at these things, and confusing the issue of what self-confidence really was.

No wonder I could never have it!

Magically, my confidence has risen without me doing anything.

Feeling more self-confident by not assigning my confidence to how good I am at these things, makes me naturally better at them and able to learn and integrate skillsets quicker, because I am more relaxed, in the flow and operating with a clear mind. My mind isn’t jammed up with thoughts of needing to build up my self-confidence.

It seems that I have come to a place to stop trying to generate confidence and trying so hard in these areas, or at all. Because I finally realized that it isn’t about anything outside of me that can generate self-confidence.

It is still an unfolding process, as I am so used to working on confidence, that those thought-grooves geared towards building confidence are still quite active.

But they just don’t affect me in the same way at all.

The Crossover Experience

This is why this isn’t a belief change, but a shift in consciousness, because the thoughts are still there, but they don’t affect in the same way. I see the nature of the illusion of these thoughts that tell me I need to be more confident and that they themselves generate this experience.

If I sound like I am saying the same thing over and over, I really want this point to shine through.

This is what we’d call an major insight, or what I’d call a crossover. When we can’t unsee something and though the thoughts are still there, we can’t go back to seeing things like we did before. Much like when it was discovered the world was not longer flat, but round, you can’t unknow that.

Like in the movie The Matrix and he eats the red pill. He can’t go backwards in his consciousness. He can’t unknow what he now knows.

That is how I define a “crossover experience.”

Now, when I get caught in thoughts of self-doubt, all I have to do is simply look in the other direction away from the confidence seeking thought system, instead of trying to think myself to confidence, which has never worked in the long run.

There are certainly is something to having a skillset/competence in my examples areas of talking to beautiful women, making money as an entrepreneur and singing in order to get results (and really any area in life) but they don’t have anything to do with my fundamental self-confidence.

Lack of fundamental self-confidence also affects the performance of how I do in any of these areas, because the more relaxed and clear I am (confident) the easier things go.

The more tight and tense I am, the worse things tend to go. This has everything to do with our state of mind (I like to call it “mindstate”) and how that affects our performance in any given area.

On top of that, any skillsets are much more easily learned and integrated when we understand how to access natural confidence. Because we are relaxed, in the flow, and present without being distracted by our own worry with thoughts concerned with confidence.

Unthinking Your Way to Confidence

What I finally have discovered after 15+ years of trying to build my confidence, the thinking that has been driving this lack of confidence isn’t real.

I thought I had to do something to have self-confidence was part of the system that kept my lack of it in place.

Like Albert Einstein said –

“We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.”

Truth.

My believing this line of thinking, that I needed to build confidence, and that it wasn’t inherent for me (or all of us) has kept my mind stirred up all these years, and away from the natural confidence we all have within, as a default, innate state.

Those times when I actually did feel confident, I had no idea why and then would struggle to keep the feeling there. Which eventually would go away because I was creating more thinking that just kept me away from it.

More thought confusion, and layers on top of layers creating a thin but ever present barrier between me and my natural confidence underneath.

“See” It, Undo It

What I’ve learned is that if I simply see that this is how the thoughts create my experience of a lack of confidence (insert money fear, low self-esteem, poor self-image, etc) – I can be free of it.

By “seeing it” I mean one a deeper level of reality creation, not just “oh yeah that makes sense” but more like “OH SHIT, THAT ENTIRE THOUGHT STREAM CREATED MY LIFE EXPERIENCE! WOAH!”

On a level of profound impact, that can’t be un-seen or un-known.

It is the kind of seeing that hits you in the gut, in awe. Not just some intellectual understanding.

This is where when I work with very heady/intellectual people (I used to fall in this category) and they just think they’ve got it and want to move onto more information. They want more advice that they think will move them forward, when it is actually a lack of confidence and clarity that is really stopping them.

They are not slowing down enough to get the insight they need to transform their world from a lack of confidence into the possibility of experiencing true self-confidence from here on out.

What’s more is that I don’t have to think those thoughts. It’s not “don’t think those thoughts” but the fact that they aren’t real and I DON’T HAVE TO think them.

This is a very fine, but powerful point. I find that giving people instructions like “don’t think that thought” is never nearly as powerful as giving them the choice that they don’t have to think the thought.

Same goes for me. Tell me what to do, and I want to tell you off.

Give me the choice, and I am open to the option and probably will take it.

I can be a stubborn bastard – part of what brings you this post today has been my many year struggle with confidence and self-worth.

When my mind settles down by seeing the nature of how our experience is created by thought (both conscious and unconscious) clarity comes forth. As does well-being, peace, ease and yes…even natural self-confidence.

Without doing a thing.

The Bottom Line: We Are Made of Confidence

That is why I say we are made of confidence, it’s part of the natural space of our mind when it’s still.

No, we don’t have to meditate to have a still mind. You can if you want, but you don’t have to.

Do I feel unconfident still? Yes it happens of course, but it’s simply because I am caught in a thought-storm which would have me believe I am not confident.

It will resolve naturally if I let it, and look back to the direction of how my experience of my life is a thought-generated one.

That feeling of unconfidence isn’t real, because it comes from thoughts that aren’t real. It sure feels real, but it is not.
It’s a real mirage.

How do I know? Time and again I show myself that if I simply do not believe those thoughts to be true, it all disappears. I’m back at my default state of natural confidence.

Self-doubt and a lack of confidence is becoming like a whisper of the past to me now. But the more I realize that it’s all made up, and that there is nothing to do to be confident, that it is natural for all of us underneath any thought storms we might have.

So when learning a new subject or skill, any thought that brings in self-doubt or judgment about how well you’re doing or not, is just getting in the way of the natural confidence you have underneath.

Knowing how to access your natural self-confidence by unthinking also makes learning a given skill (like public speaking) much easier and faster integration, without thought clouding the mind and affecting your confidence to learn.

It really can be that simple when I say:

Like stardust, we are made of confidence.

This was the key I was looking for that I thought was outside of me, or that confidence had to be transferred in. All along it was right under my nose.

Special thanks and massive gratitude to those teachers, coaches and mentors that have helped me really see all of this. That includes Michael NeillAmy Johnson, and those spiritual teachers no longer with us Alan Watts and Sydney Banks, founder of The Three Principles understanding.

Don’t look outside yourself, look within and unthink your way to confidence.

It is there already.

We are made of confidence.

With Love,
David

Following Your Own Business Path

business pathOne of the most difficult things as a new or growing business owner, is to know the right thing to do.

I know that I have been overwhelmed so many times studying marketing, sales, business systems, online and offline approaches, and any shiny object that comes across my field of view while building my businesses.

I can finally say for the first time in many years, that I have a found a decision-making process that I no longer have to worry about what decision to make or what’s the right thing to do. I had a massive internal shift in how I view business, leadership, and certainly life over the past month.

It has to do with having learned how to operate from a mind state of clarity and flow (instead of using traditional goal/commitment-based approaches), which some cool and geeky researchers might call the optimal state of performance aka flow.

We all have our own decision making process whether we are aware of it or not. Sometimes it seems to guide us well, and other times maybe not so well.

I feel as if I have come to a place of higher certainty than ever before in my decision-making process, and the true test is every day.

Every day that we make decisions, choices and take action to make a difference in the world through our businesses or on our professional path.

So, What’s the Right Decision to Make?

I think most all business owners can relate to some of the following questions (just a few examples):

  • What are the right strategy to find clients? How long should I use them for, before ditching them?
  • How do I best market my product?
  • Should I borrow (more) money or just quit and get a job?
  • When is the right time to hire a bookkeeper?
  • How should we track numbers? What system should we use?
  • When do I make the leap and hire my first employee, or salesperson?
  • Do I need a website, a business card, or have my branding done first? Or do I get some clients or sales in the door first?
  • Should I go all in or moonlight (or bootstrap) and build my business slowly?

All these types of questions are constantly running through the head of a business owner when starting out or in a growth phase.

Here’s the short answer (which you have probably heard before):

There is no right time. There is no magic formula.

The right time is when you do it. The right decision is the one you make now. The right decisions are the ones you make again, and again.

The success is in the doing, and that comes from lot of feedback/failure and trying to see what’s a fit for you and your business.

So Many Strategies, So Little Time

There are lots of great business strategies and methods out there. None of them just work.

None of them are right.

The right ones are the ones you apply that work for you at a given time.

Don’t ever believe something just works. It only works if it is a fit for you.

So in the spirit of helping those business owners who might be in a current state of overwhelm trying to figure out what works, or might even be trying to copy someone else’s path to success, I was inspired to share this amazing piece by friend and fellow coach Stacy Nelson.

Although this piece by Stacy is directed towards coaches, I think it applies to anyone who’s new or still growing in their business, but is getting lost in all the business methods and strategies out there, or playing the deadly comparison game with those that seem more successful.

Enjoy.

How about the ‘ONE’?

By Stacy Nelson

Breathe…

For those coaches in the room getting distracted by big business visioning and filling your practice and six figure awesomeness and doing all the yummy dream-life stuff, STOP…

Don’t lose yourself in the bigness of your own potential.

Take a breath.

My Facebook stream is filled with coaches and everyday what I see are the messages, of who to do x-y-z with an easy 1-2-3 approach to healing your pain. This isn’t a judgement on who they are or the businesses they are creating. But I’d be lying if I didn’t tell you that it makes me sick to my stomach and fills me with anxiety when I read through all the ‘more is better’ posts.

Because really… I’m in coaching to help people TRANSFORM. What an ass-wipe I would be if I assumed that everyone transformed in the same way right? To tell you that YOUR path to success looks just like MINE. 

I was talking to a couple of past group clients recently and I loved their stories.

One is making steady progress in her business, paying off all of her massive debt which accumulated when she bought into some of these expensive coaching programs and found their techniques to be out of alignment with her. We worked together to rid her of the confines of the traditional coach-as-internet marketer and built her business based on the things that lit her up, like sitting down for a cup of tea with a potential client and having a real face to face conversation.

Another went from not being able to charge at all, bartering or discounting her prices so much she might as well have, to filling up her practice with paying clients and creating her own local meet up filled with potential clients.

Another beauty is about to launch her book, concentrating on being the writer she has always been and allowing that to help her create conversations.

Another has decided that she doesn’t care for 1:1 coaching at all and has started creating and filling quarterly retreats in exotic locations instead.

Each of them did it by slowing down and really tapping into their own genius. But here’s the best part for me to hear… each of them FEELS more powerful and more calm. The striving to be carbon copies of all the people on our Facebook stream is GONE.

There is an ease and grace with which they each approach their business. They are different business owners from when they started with me. That makes my toes tingle, to know that they are free of the formulas.

AND they all started by slowing down enough to concentrate on what they most wanted to create. By relaxing their grip on the what-if’s and allowing themselves to create in the present moment, to create their lives NOW, not in a someday plan.

So what would it feel like to release some of that pressure? To allow yourself to create one client at a time? To be in alignment with the ways you personally want to create your success instead of how someone else tells you to do it?

See it really doesn’t matter what your price is. And it doesn’t matter how often you speak or where you speak. Just get one client who inspires you. Have conversations with people who have visions that light YOU up.

All of the background noise will be there, the emails and clever marketing copy will continue rolling by. You can start creating the biggest dream of your life today without listening to any of it…

As long as you start on YOUR path, not anyone else’s.

Sent with Love & Light,

Stacy

stacy_nelson

You can find out more about Stacy Nelson, her amazing private coaching and group programs at www.stacynelsonunlimited.com